Are you an overthinker? If it took you more than 5 seconds to answer that question, you are probably an overthinker. As an overthinker, your overthinking problem will be exacerbated if you are cheated on, which begs the question of how to stop overthinking after being cheated on. The first step in solving this dilemma is simply to allow yourself to overthink. Seems counterproductive? Well, I will explain further.
What is Overthinking?
Overthinking occurs when you concentrate on a single idea – or a sequence of thoughts – to the point where it severely impacts your life.
As a result, it is a dangerous habit that can lead to anxiety, depression, and even obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
Overthinking may cause people to be unable to make decisions and move on with their lives, which can be highly irritating and dangerous.
Is It Normal To Overthink After Being Cheated On?
Hell yes! Even non-overthinkers find themselves overthinking the situation if they are cheated on. As stated above, this plight is exacerbated for overthinkers like you and me.
Finding out that your partner was unfaithful comes with a litany of emotions like betrayal, sadness, anger, and so on. It also comes with certain unanswered questions like, ‘Why didn’t I see this coming? Am I the problem?.’
Conclusively, it is okay to find yourself overthinking after being cheated on. In fact, I will think something is amiss if you are not overthinking it. Someone you loved and trusted betrayed your trust by cheating on you… Yes, it is normal to overthink
How To Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On
After being cheated on, it is typical to feel betrayed, insecure, and overwhelmed. It is normal to find oneself revisiting certain situations or dissecting certain acts; this can lead to persistent overthinking and worry. Fortunately, there are several approaches that can help you quit overthinking after being cheated on
Here are 21 practical tips on how to stop overthinking after being cheated on:
1. Allow yourself to overthink
Does this seem counterproductive? Trust me; it is not! Irrespective of all the tips on the internet on how to stop overthinking after being cheated on, you would still find yourself overthinking it.
Being cheated on is actually quite a big deal, no matter how the world tries to commonize it. Allow yourself to bask in the litany of emotions that come with your partner’s infidelity. Be it anxiety, sadness, anger, and so on, which may invariably lead to overthinking.
While you allow yourself to overthink, I suggest you put a timeframe to it. Our brains can be quite cunning and fight against our thoughts when we try not to overthink. But giving yourself the permission to overthink the situation will help put a lid on the amount of time you actually spend overthinking.
2. Schedule overthinking
This is to buttress the point discussed above. Allow yourself to overthink for some time. The next step is to schedule it because you can’t just go cold turkey.
Thus, start by negotiating with your brain to complete a difficult activity, and then give yourself permission to ruminate. For example, before you may worry about the situation, you must do five rounds of 1-minute plank
I want to believe that permitting yourself to overthink should come with some level of acceptance. You must learn to accept what you must if you want to deal with being cheated on. Overthinking the situation gives you the understanding that nothing can be done.
For example, you cannot alter the fact that your partner cheated. You also have no influence over whether they will do it again. Instead of focusing on what you can’t alter, think about what you can, such as your attitude to the circumstance.
4. Distract yourself with a self-care routine
When I think of self-care, my mind goes to soaking myself in a fancy tub, bubbles, and a wine glass. However, self-care does not have to be so idealistic. Self-care can be buying your favorite candles, immersing yourself in a novel, or just taking a leisurely walk.
The sadness that comes with being cheated on might make you forget the most important factor in the equation – you! However, it is essential in overcoming the overthinking cycle. Taking care of yourself makes you live in the present and keeps overthinking at bay.
5. Maybe it is time to change your environment
Changing your environment lets you see things from a clearer perspective. I remember when I ended a relationship immediately, I left my initial environment. Changing my environment helped me to see what others were seeing clearly.
So, yes, the solution to your overthinking might just be a new environment. Your surroundings influence how you act, feel, and think. As a result, changing your surroundings is a big step in the correct path since it changes your feelings.
6. Find a way to unwind.
My perfect way to unwind is with a glass of coffee, rum, and scrolling through TikTok. At such point, I’m too invested in a tutorial of drawing the perfect winged eyebrows or something similar.
What is your ideal way to de-stress? If you don’t have one, you need to get one immediately! Finding a means to de-stress is a wonderful first step in coping with overthinking following infidelity.
7. Hit the gym
We have all seen videos of people working out and getting a fit body after being cheated on. Maybe that’s what you need. You will have no time to think of your crappy ex who cheated on you when lifting heavy weights.
Furthermore, being in good physical form makes you feel more confident, allowing you to confront the task with a clearer mind.
There is something quite cathartic about penning down your thoughts. You should definitely give it a shot if you have not tried it.
Everything changes for you once you discover that your partner has been unfaithful. Thus, finding a decent way to cope is critical, and journaling is one of the best. It is a strong but practical method of clearing your mind and expelling any bad energy.
Journaling will help you in forging the path to mental and emotional liberation. Writing down how you feel and think, for example, will make it simpler to handle your feelings after your partner has cheated on you, minimizing the desire to overthink.
9. It’s time to stop the blame game
People in my country usually find a way to justify a man’s infidelity by claiming that men are polygamous in nature or something like that. In some cases, they try to shift the blame to the woman by claiming some absurd thing like weight gain.
Such absurd justification for infidelity might have you overthinking and blaming yourself. Well, it is time to stop the blame game. You have to realize that cheating is a conscious decision made by your partner and never a mistake. The blame is never on you but on your partner. As you figure out how to quit overthinking after being cheated on, keep in mind that you are not to blame.
10. Positive affirmations
Using positive affirmations to reprogram your brain is one of the most effective strategies to quit overthinking when your partner has cheated on you. Positive phrases urge your brain to think about the good things, increasing the likelihood that they will occur.
Affirmations start a positive loop in your brain, reducing the amount of time you spend overthinking unpleasant things. The easiest approach to employ positive affirmations is to write them down and repeat them every day to keep them in your head.
11. Do something that actually makes you happy.
Sometimes, pinpointing what makes you happy can be a herculean task. I think the major problem is that we always forward to some big life event to make us happy. Well, start small. I have been learning to live in the present, and I can firmly say that the pack of scented candles I got last week made me happy (side note: what is with adulthood and nice scents? Lol)
Well, discover what makes you happy and completely immerse yourself in it. It will give no room for overthinking.
12. Take a break
You require mental, physical, and emotional renewal. This is because adultery has caused such a major upheaval in your life you must get things back in order to prevent generating even more havoc.
Take a pause to begin your recovery path. For example, you could take a vacation instead of working. Meeting new people, visiting new locations, trying new cuisines, and spending time outside will all benefit your thinking.
13. Surround yourself with positive people.
Your circle will play a critical role in helping you to stop overthinking after being cheated on. At this point in your life, you do not need friends who will guilt trip you and, by extension, exacerbate your overthinking habits.
Now is the time to reach out to friends who have always had your back, will listen to the complete story, and will support your next step.
14. Set clear-cut boundaries
Were you cheated on by a narcissist? Trust me, they are the worst kinds. A cheating narcissist as a partner will try to play the victim card to get you to take them back. They may try to deceive you into acting as if nothing occurred after you have been cheated on. Don’t fall for it. Instead, set boundaries.
In this sense, boundaries include when and how they are permitted to contact you, how you interact, and everything else. Setting emotional boundaries is a simple approach to quit overthinking after being cheated on.
15. Seek professional help
You may need to seek out a relationship counselor after being cheated on. Getting a professional perspective from someone outside the situation, whether with or without your spouse, might be the catalyst for your healing.
16. Now it is time to forgive and let go
Just like I stated earlier, being cheated upon comes with a litany of emotions, which might even include the need for revenge. There is a profound peace that comes with forgiving and letting go. There is nothing you can do to change your partner’s infidelity by holding on to the hurt, but the power to change the future is in your hands.
17. Resist the urge for a rebound
In my opinion, I don’t think heading on deep neck into a causal fling is the best way to deal with being cheated on by your partner. Most people believe that rebounding would take their minds off the problem and provide them with happiness.
While casual relationships are okay and may help you move on and eventually meet the ideal partner, you should not pursue them for the wrong reasons.
You can go from one casual relationship to the next, unconsciously looking for your lost spouse in them.
18. Focus on yourself
This is maybe the finest advice someone can offer you. In the aftermath of cheating, most people adopt undesirable behaviors. People frequently use drugs, alcohol, sex, or overwork to distract themselves. Needless to say, this is ineffective.
What helps, though, is a healthy emphasis on oneself. The only thing you can do after accepting what has occurred is to go on.
This is the greatest time to concentrate on your desires. Seeing that you have gone through a traumatic experience, you should prioritize your mental health for the time being.
19. Reach out to your friends to battle your brain
Well, since your brain is doing all the overthinking, it is high time that your brain is challenged. Reach out to your close pals to interrupt an overthinking occurrence by showing up randomly. If that is not feasible, they can reach out to you online by maybe sharing funny memes or recounting a weird bar anecdote.
This is also a great opportunity to look through old photographs with your friends and remind yourself that you are a whole person with or without your unfaithful partner.
20. Try the rubber band trick
This is an oldie but a treasure. Even if you’re in line at the grocery store, your devious mind will start overthinking. Link a physical activity to overthinking. Snap the rubber band around your wrist every time a thought leads you down a rabbit hole.
Your brain wants to overthink yet does not want to relive the snap. In principle, your brain will gradually shun the distracting ideas in order to protect itself from the snap.
21. Have a discussion with your brain
I want to believe that we all have an inner voice. My inner voice is rude with a bad tongue and doesn’t fail to remind me that I’m not following the right path.
My inner voice can say something like, ‘You are being excessively dramatic by overthinking this situation, young lady.’ It is possible that your inner voice is not as rude as mine, but you can train it to be direct and truthful.
Does Being Cheated On Change You
Yes, it does. Just like an experience, being cheated has an effect on you. In any case, these encounters will alter your perspective on relationships and people in general.
In the end, you are the one who determines what your experience means. You are free to choose how you wish to respond to the cheating experience.
Being cheated on not only changes you but changes your life in general. It is up to you whether you allow it to transform you for the better or for the worse. However, if you are attempting to overcome this experience, you should be aware that it may also be a learning experience.
When Does Overthinking End?
Unfortunately, I can not provide a definite answer to that question. However, the practical tips in this post will help you overcome overthinking in no time.
Conclusion: How To Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On
Being cheated on creates a tornado of emotions. You might be enraged one minute and sad the next. This might result in feelings of uncertainty, embarrassment, concern, and perplexity. While all of these feelings are legitimate, acknowledging and addressing them will be critical in your recovery journey. Furthermore, understanding how to avoid overthinking after being cheated on will help you on your road to healing.