How do you define sexy? When do you call someone sexy? For me, sexiness used to mean that perfect slender-ish hourglass figure. It doesn’t just end with a perfect figure but permeates into your body language, facial expression, quirks, and how you talk.
Do You think you are sexy?
I hope you have high self-esteem and can answer that question with a resounding ‘yes.’ For me, that is not the case. I have been called beautiful, cute, and intelligent, but I have never been called sexy.
Recently, a love interest said I was sexy, and I was a bit marveled. Usually, I respond to compliments like, ‘You are beautiful’ with ‘I know, right? But thanks for noticing that.’ Yes, I have been described as cocky too.
But the sexy comment knocked me off my feet. I could tell from his eyes that he meant every word of it! And I appreciated his honesty. I usually feel like I am beautiful but have trouble feeling sexy.
That not-so-random comment made me feel warm and was the right confidence boost I needed throughout the week.
Redefining What Sexy Means to You
While I might suffer from little bouts of low self-esteem, I can categorically tell you that sexiness doesn’t mean having that perfect figure. I have seen ladies with the perfect figure that don’t ooze an atom of sex appeal.
Here are ways to redefine what sexy means to you:
1. Confidence is the new sexiness
Adulthood is realizing that confidence is everything. The way you see and carry yourself is the need design to redefine your sexiness. There is nothing more sexy than one who radiates confidence.
I like to think I’m fairly confident in most areas of my life, but I have my moments when I know I can do better. And the incident I described above is one such instance. Again, we are all work in progress, and there is always room for improvement.
2. Stop the comparison
Just as they say, comparison is the killer of all joy! This is an area I know I need to work on. I might be feeling my best on a good day, but sight someone I feel oozes more sex appeal than me and come instantly green with envy.
I am actively trying to work on this aspect. I am learning to acknowledge what other people have and, rather than being jealous, be inspired. I try to focus on the present moment and enjoy where I am going.
3. Wear clothes that boost your confidence.
I recently learned that short skirts fit me perfectly, and I intend to milk them as long as I can! My best friend is tired of making snide comments about how I tend to find a short skirt to wear whenever we go out. I do not mind these comments.
These short leather skirts have a way of boosting my esteem and transforming my look. I feel SEXIER when I wear them. Note I used ‘sexier’ and not sexy. That means I already feel sexy, and skirts are just an added boost.
4. Work out to stay healthy and not sexy
I did myself a disservice by slaving away in the gym just to achieve the perfect hourglass figure. I would obsess over gaining stomach fat and back rolls.
In my post on the need to lose weight, I talked about how working out to stay healthy was a game changer for me.
5. Stomach fat and back rolls are sexy!
Growing older is realizing that your metabolism is slowing down. For me, my once flat tummy became fuller and back rolls developed out of thin air. I despised these changes and would wish them to magically disappear!
Today in front of the mirror, I noticed that stomach fat is womanly and shapely. Don’t get me wrong; I will take 6 pacs over my current tummy fat. I mean, who wouldn’t? But I kind of have a new appreciation for them.
Don’t stare into the mirror and only see your perfections; rather, find a way to appreciate features about yourself.
6. Adjust your posture.
I still think that I don’t have the strides of a confident person. If your body posture is slouched, you are considered meek and less assertive.
Often, how we posture our bodies reflects how we see ourselves. You will be viewed as confident, dominating, having integrity, and having a great sense of well-being if you stand up straight and correct your posture.
7. Be as comfortable as possible when talking to people
When conversing with them, make yourself as at ease as possible. Maybe you’re anxious or bashful, which is OK. You might be suffering from anxiety or something else that makes it difficult to talk to anybody. This insecurity is frequently visible to others, and it can make others around you uncomfortable.
So you’ll want to practice your conversation skills and find methods to relax – perhaps with a bottle of wine!
8. Smelling good is the best type of sexiness
Have you ever seen a guy from across the room who smelled amazing? However, up close, you saw that he stank. Perhaps he smoked, didn’t clean up after work, or had terrible dental hygiene.
When it comes to feeling sexy, our sense of smell is vital; thus, you should smell good.
9. Discover your ideal scent.
This is also an offshoot of the above point. Recently, a close friend gifted me two bottles of perfume! It was like my friend went on research to find the perfect scent for me, something I have struggled with for quite some time.
I deemed these two bottles of perfume as my own perfume selection. I feel instantly sexier when I wear them. I feel like I can conquer the world.
10. Intense Eye contant
You may find that the majority of individuals you encounter do not make direct eye contact. They may glance into your eyes for a few seconds before glancing away since they are unable to maintain their focus.
Don’t be like that.
When you’re talking to someone of the opposite sex, especially someone you like, look them in the eyes. When you’re calm and confident, look someone in the eyes while they’re talking. It may make the other person uncomfortable, but it will also weaken them in the knees.
11. Take note of your voice.
Include your sultry voice in the discussion when you’re on a date. While women enjoy a man’s loud, testosterone-laden voice, men may not necessarily prefer a woman to yell in a deep voice.
Men have always considered female voices appealing, especially if they are not overly harsh or high-pitched. A woman who speaks softly and occasionally adds a lovely chuckle instantly makes any male adore her.
12. Make use of your body language
Growing up is realizing that sexiness doesn’t just lie in having a great body but also in nonverbal communication. This means that you must use your body to communicate. Make use of your fingers, eyes, neck, lips, and hair. Your body is available to you.
Conclusion: Redefining What Sexy Means to You
Finally, I think redefining sexy for you lies in your confidence. While physical attributes are the most important, subtle qualities such as confidence also play a significant role. Learning to boost your confidence is the best way to redefine your sexiness.