Should You Be Bothered About Your Body Count? The simple answer to this question is, “No.” It’s possible that you are. I became quite obsessed with it after I forgot the name of someone I used to be intimate with. I usually pride myself in keeping track of all the people I have been intimate with over the years. It took me about 5 hours to finally remember the name of this person in question, and as expected, I freaked out!
What is Body Count
Before we get into the main gist, what exactly is body count? The weird thing is that the dictionary meaning of body count is a count of the bodies of killed enemy soldiers. Well, it is a good thing that we are not talking about WW1 and 2!
The contemporary meaning of body count refers to the number of persons someone has slept with. In general, this refers to sexual intercourse and excludes other sorts of sexual activities.
So, now you know it! When asked about your body count, you need not reply that you are not a murderer. LOL.
Is There A Comfortable Body Count?
The simple answer is No! Why is my answer so emphatic? Well, probably because of the double standards surrounding the term ‘body count. The ‘low body count rule’ mostly applies to women, whereas when the same scenario is applied to men, they do not receive the same degree of criticism as women. The double standard here is that it is deemed normal ‘manly’ behavior for men but bizarre behavior for women.
It seems that research might disagree with my opinion on a comfortable body count. According to research, the typical count for men and women is between four and eight.
Even so, the research differs from person to person. Some people may consider a body count of four to be excessive for their partners. Many people ignore the figure entirely. It is dependent on your companion.
Should You Be Bothered About Your Body Count
For me, the simple answer is No. It’s not like you can do anything by worrying about it excessively! However, there is a caveat, while you shouldn’t be unnecessarily worried about your body count, you should be conscious of it.
Here are some truthful points on the whole body count conversation:
1. Don’t be bothered about your body count, but be conscious about it.
Maybe, this point stems from my conservative nature. I am not one for casual sex because I sort of believe in the intimacy of sex. Again, looking at it from the mental health perspective, research shows a link between casual sex and some negative mental health consequences such as sadness, anxiety, feeling bad about oneself, regret, depression, and poor self-esteem.
2. Remember, Your Body Count has no effect on you as a person
The number of individuals a woman has slept with does not define her. Women are so much more than those they’ve shared a bed with. Just because you’ve slept with a particular amount of individuals does not imply you can’t make your spouse happy.
3. You Shouldn’t be With Someone That is Overly Concerned About Your Body Count
People who assess you based on the number of partners you’ve had are most often insecure. I’m sorry to break it to you, but if the person you’ve been crushing on taunts and evaluates you for the number of people you’ve been with or haven’t, he’s probably either envious or highly insecure.
2. Don’t be pressurized into having sex
We all know that sexual coercion is a thing! Again, I want to remind you that it is your body and your choice! You should never be coerced into having sexual relations with someone you don’t want to.
Common coercion tactics include guilt-tripping, emotional manipulation, badgering, and making threats. When you see that a partner, or anybody else, is attempting to coerce you into having sex, a smart first step is to call them out, as long as you feel safe doing so. Be firm and straightforward.
You might say:
“I stated that I do not want to have sex.” Putting pressure on me will not make me change my opinion.”
5. There is Nothing Shameful About Having a High Body Count
In sexual interactions, shame has no place. You should not feel ashamed about how many partners you have or how sexual you are. There should be no cause to be ashamed of your sexual practices if you practice safe sex. We are all human. We all like sex.
It’s time to stop labeling women who have a lot of sex as “sluts” and women who don’t have sex as “prudes.” Both are equally dangerous. No one should be evaluated based on their level of sexual activity.
6. The Double Standards Associated with The Body Count Discourse
Men and women have various sexual history expectations from their relationships. While men prefer their girlfriends to have had fewer prior partners, women often anticipate men to have had more.
While women with subjectively “higher” body counts are usually looked down on or chastised for their choices, males with “higher” body counts are given a pass (and even applauded for it).
Should I Tell My Partner About My Body Count?
Whether you should tell your partner about your body count is a complicated question. Everyone has various perspectives, but the basic line is that this is personal and private information, and no one is required to divulge anything they are not ready or willing to discuss.
Casual sex may have minimal influence on some people’s perceptions of others, but it may be a critical piece of information for others. However, according to Pew’s results, 65% of respondents believed casual sex was appropriate.
The number of individuals with whom someone has slept varies according to culture and place. Certain faiths place a higher value on body count, which might confuse individual perspectives or the desire to communicate this information.
According to Dr. Sarah Melancon (Ph.D.), there are various reasons why a person may not want to discuss their body count or may feel ashamed about it, regardless of their background.
Bottomline: Should You Be Bothered About Your Body Count?
Again, I will answer that question with an emphatic No. There is no need to cry over spilled milk if you get what I mean. 😉. Your body count is your body count, and you should be free to tell anybody you choose or keep it private. Let’s start teaching self-love instead of shame, guilt, and stigma in sexual dialogues.